Wednesday, August 12, 2015

I can do it all...

I was raised to be independent. For that I am grateful. It's what got me through college and through my 20's. I was taught that I can't isn't a word, it's not in our vocabulary. As an educator, I wish more students were being taught that same thing. There is nothing I dislike more, than when a mom calls to tell me her child needs help and then hands the phone to the student, or when a parent tells me, "they can't do that, they'll never be able to do that..." People will only go as far as they think you believe they can go. I fully believe we need to set high expectations.

All of that to say, being strong and independent isn't a bad thing.But, sometimes I get caught in my "I can do it all" mentality. When we first got married, Claudy would get so made at me, because I wouldn't let him help me. I've had to learn that letting people help you, doesn't make you weak or dependent, but actually there is freedom and joy in it. 

This week, I was sitting on the couch, and I heard the voice in my head saying..."Why can't you keep Lia home, you should be able to work and be a stay at home mom. You should be cooking every meal and cleaning the house, Claudy shouldn't help with that." 

They just kept coming one by one. 

I had to tell myself to stop. It isn't true. Community and allowing others to help you is a good thing. There is freedom. We were designed for community.

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Giving It All Away

I recently purchased the devotional "Jesus, I Need You" by Zondervan

They are quick 2-3 minute devotionals. Today's topic was "Giving It All Away". 
They write: "Jesus, I have a confession to make. I feel afraid to entrust everything to You. I know that You love me and want only the best for me. Still, it's so hard to give up total control of every aspect of my life....Help me give You my everything." 

The truth....

I've learned this lesson over and over again....

I'm a control freak...

In my heart and mind, I know I don't control everything, but in my heart, I want to. 

The truth desire to control really comes out of a spirit of unhealthy fear. Fear that life isn't going to go as planned, fear of failure, fear of the unknown. 

I need to work on giving up control in my marriage, parenting, my future, my walk with God, my work, and my relationships. 

The truth is...control sucks the life out of me. It takes up so much energy, trying to be perfect and trying to hold on to everything. 

The truth is...I'm really saying and portraying that I don't trust God, I don't trust my husband, I don't trust my friends and family...

The truth is...I've sinned against all of these people. This is not my desire....

The truth is...I do trust God
I do trust my husband
I do trust my friends and family

The truth is...I will try to let go!

Thursday, July 16, 2015

{Happy 1st Birthday Lia}

Happy 1st birthday baby girl. 

I'm not sure how it is possible that a year has already passed by, but you changed our world and we've loved every minute. 

I love you more than I ever dreamed possible. I've tried to enjoy the last year: the sleepless nights, the snuggles, the cries, all of your firsts...knowing that it won't last forever. You are so independent, I know there will be a day, sooner than I would like, when you will say, "Mommy I do it myself." Part of that will break my heart, even though I know it is a good thing. 

You like to play in the water, you like to climb, you like to read books, you like cows, you like to play the guitar with your daddy, you like to be chased, you like to give hugs and kisses, you like mac and cheese, you like fruit. you like to drink out of a straw, you like to talk and you like your Nuk. 

You are independent, social, determined, and spunky. Your smile and eyes make people smile. 

I pray for you all the time. I pray that God will draw himself to you and turn your heart to him. I pray you are content and selfless. I pray you have a desire to give to others and that you learn to love. I pray you fear the Lord, but live with a reckless abandon towards Him. 

I love watching you grow and getting to know more of your personality.
God created you to be you! You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are not a mistake, you were planned and knit together by the All-Knowing God. 

I love you more than you will ever know. 


Thursday, July 2, 2015

{July Goals}

Why is it that the summer months always fly by? I love Minnesota Summers...The longs days, weekends at the lake, baseball at the park, boat rides, etc. with that being said, June is over...let's see how we did. 
June Goals
1. Read 1 fiction/1 non fiction book -I got through 2 fiction books and 1 non-fiction
2. 100 of 1000 gifts -I love this of my favorite things to do each morning.
3. Help 5 new people reach their fitness goals - Had a great month and I have seen people make incredible transformations!
4. Run a half marathon - Ran in Fergus Falls half and PR'd
5. Date Weekend- this is the one I'm most proud of!! We left Lia with my parents and spent a night away. We had hibachi and relaxed in our hotel!!
6. Use Wife after God book as a devotional this month. - I did this a couple of years ago, but such a great book to focus on our marriage.
7. Spend a couple nights at the cabin as a family.- We spent 2 Friday nights there! I loved it!!

WOW!! I didn't think that would ever happen...completing every goal. Here we go for July.

July Goals
1. 100 of 1000 gifts
2. Start a 1000 gifts IG account - Just an IG account to document these gifts!
3. Read 1 fiction/1-nonfiction book
4. Help 5 new people reach their fitness goals
5. Start training for another half marathon.
6. Trip to Chicago
7. Do something fun every Friday

I hope you all have a great month!!

Saturday, June 20, 2015

{Happy First Father's Day}

Claudy -

When we first met, I remember watching you with kids at different orphanages or schools we would visit and thinking, wow he is so good with those kids. Then, when we were engaged, I watched you take my nieces and nephews and make bonds with them. I would watch you play with them, tease them and just spend time with them. I always thought, you would make such a good dad. In fact, when I watched you with them, you reminded me so much of the qualities I loved about my own dad.

When we found out we were pregnant with our baby, you were so excited... you were connected immediately and you would talk to the baby, etc.

Then it was time for the baby to come. You were nervous and unsure you would want to be in the room, but like any dad, she came and you did great!!!

We really had no idea what we were getting ourselves into and how hard this year would be, but we have made it!

You love our little girl so much and it shows. You take time to play with her, talk with her, feed her, etc. There have been many times that I think, "Wow, he is such a good dad." I don't always voice it out loud, but you are so good to our little girl.

I love when she cuddles up next to you in our beds and touches your face to feel you near. I love when she gets fussy in the evenings and you take out your guitar and start playing worship music and singing together. I love when you play basketball and soccer with her. I love that she goes to sleep better for you. I love how protective you are of her. I love that you are making memories and forming bonds with her.

You have grown so much in this last year. Becoming a daddy has changed you. I loved you before you were a daddy, but my love for you has grown in ways I didn't even realize it could.

I'm so glad you're the one Lia calls DAD!!

I love you!