Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Dear New Mom/Mom To Be....



Dear New Mom/Mom to Be - 

I by no means have this mom thing figured out...in fact that is why I am writing to you today. I am not in expert; I'll let you in on a little secret, none of us are. Until about a month ago, I struggled with so much about being a mom. 95% of that is due to my expectations that I had on being a mother and about my expectations of babies. The other 5% is my natural instincts to achieve and have everything be ideal. 

So here it is, my advice to you....

...LET GO

Let go of all of your expectations. Let go of the thought that you have to nurse, or you have to cloth diaper, or you have to feed your baby all organic food, or that you child can't have sugar, or that your baby should sleep through the night by a certain time, or sit up or walk by a certain time, that they can't watch movies, that they have to sleep into a crib until they are two, that they have to cry it out, that they can't cry, that they won't through fits, etc.

You get the gist. I had expectations about all of these things. I'll be honest and admit that none of them have happened they way I expected. It made me tired, weary, frustrated, and let done and instead of enjoying each phase, I let it get the best of me and my marriage struggled and I got angry at my adorable growing daughter. 

The last month, I've been doing my best to let go of those expectations. Lia still doesn't sleep through every night, she sometimes sleeps in my bed, she is on a mattress on the floor, I sometimes set her in front of the i-pad/tv so I can get something done, she has thrown fits in stores, she's had timeouts/spankings, she drinks pop on occasion, she eats lots of popcorn, she eats rocks and sticks, ...BUT

Since I have learned to let go, I have more energy, I'm happier, my marriage is better and I've been enjoying my daughter more. 

Don't get me wrong, I still have my moments (we all do), but I just wanted to let you know, it's ok. It's ok and at the end of the day, we are all doing our best and loving our children. Loving your child is what is important...not the expectations!

You can breath! 
 

22 comments :

Stacie @ Divine Lifestyle said...

OMG, this post is spot on. New moms should never go into parenthood thinking it should be a certain way. It is what it is, and it's beautiful.

Masshole Mommy said...

I agree with you, but it's definitley easier said than done. I wasn't able to let go until I had 2.

Jeannette said...

This is such a great reminder! We're all doing our best but it can be so stressful at times. I'm trying to get better at letting stuff go.

Sophie's Plus Size Wonderland said...

I'm not a mum at the moment but I can imagine it can be hard at time but totally worth it all!

Sandy KS said...

Learning as you go is a very important in being a happy parent with well adjusted kids. Your blog hit the nail right on the head. You go Momma.

Jaime Nicole said...

It is so important to support each other as we all find our ways to what works for our kids and families. There really isn't a single right way and as long as everyone's needs are being met and there is love and smiles, it's good stuff.

Michele D said...

I'm a mom of 4 and I was 23 when I had my twins. I learned very fast how to take care of two babies at once. Loved every moment.

Autumn Blues Reviews said...

I have gone to so many baby showers this year alone. I will definitely pass this along to at least the latest two. Thank you for sharing!!

Megan Elford {WelcomeToTheZoo} said...

Yes, yes, and yes! We get so worked up worrying about what we think we should be doing, when really it's not all that important!

Brianna George said...

:) being a mom is awesome. But hard. Let it go, let it go. Great advice. :)

Deal Match Maker said...

Very great advice.. It's very important to let go of all of our expectations so we can be happy and free.

Erin Shebish said...

What a perfect post! All mothers should have to read this because it is so easy to fall into the mom guilt trap!

Mykidsguide said...

We always try our best to be good parents. Sometimes, we try too hard that it leaves us feeling stressed. We need to relax a bit and we shouldn't be too hard on ourselves.

Chrystal Mahan said...

The rule of thumb is to just do your best in every situation. I learned long ago to not judge or compare. Makes things a lot easier.

Bonnie Gowen said...

Great post. Even after being a momma to 5 I wish I could let go, wish it was that easy.

Chantal Bernard said...

This is great advice! I think we could all take the advice of 'letting go' and put it to good use in many areas of our lives!

Lynndee said...

I remember some of those things being told to me when my son was still a baby. It was my first baby (and only actually) so I followed advice which I think were good for my son.

Crystal said...

Expectations hold us back in many things.. parenting, marriage, etc. Great advice.

CourtneyLynne said...

Omg love this! Nothing will ever prepare you for mommy hood! I read all the books and the day my daughter was born, I realized wow! Nothing prepared you for this moment! Just embrace it :)

Yona Williams said...

I know it's not funny, but I had to giggle at 'she eats sticks and rocks.' I remember when I first saw my best friend's daughter eat popcorn off the ground that fell from their bag, my jaw dropped. After baby #3, I could see that this act rolled right off her back – a big change from when she had her first babe.

Ashleigh Walls said...

My best friend and I made so many things up that we thought we were going to be as moms. Luckily we still realize how much we have to offer our kids.

Lisa said...

I love this! Its amazing how our expectations change after having kids.