Thursday, September 18, 2014

He Only....

I had every intention of following Blog-tember this month...and then life happened. 
I don't know what I was thinking...blogging everyday, working, hubby in school, newborn...haha I had high expectations for myself. 

This season of life has been different than any other. I now have a new role...Mommy

While, I love change and I adore and love my daughter, it is a role that has been the hardest one I've experienced. It's hard adjusting to the fact that 24 hours a day some one is dependent on me. I've always prided myself to be an independent woman. It's how I was raised. Then I got married and I had to learn to be co-dependent. Now, being a mommy, I have someone that needs me all day...'s exhausting's challenging's scary's hard's amazing's wonderfully difficult

There are days when I just want to be alone. I want to not have to think about all of the possibilities, the needs, the responsibilies...but at the same time, when I have a rare moment alone, those are all I think about.

I've never thought of myself to be fearful, but so much of her life is out of my control and it scares me. There are so many decisions that I have to make for her and a lot of them are in the gray area. Do we have the room at the right temperature, can we sleep her on her stomach, do we let her cry for a while in her bed, how long is too long, the questions go on and on...

I was reflecting this morning during my quiet time (with little one on my lap) on Psalms 62, verses 6-8.

For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
    for my hope is from him. 

He only is my rock and my salvation,
    my fortress; I shall not be shaken. 

 On God rests my salvation and my glory;
    my mighty rock, my refuge is God.

Trust in him at all times, O people;
    pour out your heart before him;
    God is a refuge for us.

It's a piece of scripture that has gotten me through many trials (it's why it's tattooed on my foot).  He is my REFUGE...He is my ROCK...I can not be shaken.

I have so many hopes and dreams for Lia. So many of them are out of my control. Each day I have to lay her down just like I lay down myself at the feet of Jesus.

This song has been very comforting to me this week. Let Jesus be your CORNERSTONE - your foundation.

1 comment :

Anonymous said...

This brought tears to my eyes (although that is very easy to do these days- I am still hormonal after pregnancy!). But seriously, thank you for sharing this. Loved reading it!- Amanda Miller